Sunday, December 19, 2004

I am loney therefore I blog

So, I am here at the internet cafe not wanting to watch the NFL alone....
I just had a great time at mass sitting with a newfound friend from RCIA. She brought her fiance's two daughters, one of them is two and I held her on my lap and she was as quiet as a church mouse, although her shoes got my pants all dirty. We went to the breaking open of the word with the girls and she sat quietly on my lap some more. But when she sat on my friend's lap she was squirmy and kind of naughty.
There is a sweet warmth in this new relationship. This burgeoning family has me by the heartstrings. I suspect this will help me in my celibacy. Celibates need rich, thriving relationships to be happy. I might even do babysitting for them. Especially after they have their baby in June.
So, when I get here at WebJoy, the internet cafe, I check my email and there is one from an old friend at my old church, Christ the King, we were RCIA partners years ago. For some reason that church wouldn't let me continue on in my quest to become a Catholic. I wimped out on getting a reason why. Sometimes I am incredibly inept. So she sends this email that announces that a young married couple, both of whom I knew before they married, is coming into town and do I want to go out with all of them to dinner after 5 o'clock mass tonight. I delete that message and Yahoo mail puts me into the next message from a girl I met at a christian conference in Chicago who went on to Oxford University who is announcing her engagement. And here I am, doubting if I can ever get married... the loneliness goes on.

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