Jill is a wonderful, valiant young woman who has suffered much. She has been called by our Lord to the cross of multiple miscarriages. I think they number at six- she has just suffered one in the past month or so. The poor dear- she is very brave and plods on through life.
Well, after a month of silence following her last miscarriage she started blogging again. And in this post she talks about how she feels overwhelmed about potential losses that are looming in her future. She talks about how she has gotten "rather flinchy" about the potential health problems several of her loved ones are currently experiencing. She is having problems enjoying the here and now with each of them because she is anticipating their potential demise and can't help but guard herself against the possible pain that will arise should the Lord call them home.
Here is an example:
On the surface, it was a pleasant mother/daughter moment, but for me it had a bittersweet flavor. My mom is 79 and has health problems. I couldn't prevent the thought from crossing my mind that my mom might not be here when those larkspur seeds bloom next summer.
Likewise, when my dad opened his birthday gifts from me during the same visit with a pleased look on his face, it was slightly bittersweet for me. The dread passed over me of eventually having to find that book and that shirt as I sort through his things one sad day.
So, I commented with some rather wise words to this post. Today she thanked me for that comment. I say that they are wise words because I got them from a source I highly respect.
There is this Holy Spirit inspired author, of course she is British, as are most of my favorite authors, Tolkien, Lewis and Chesterton, this author's name is Elizabeth Goudge. She wrote a trilogy about the Eliot family in England that I have read at least five times. Yes, folks, it's that good.
Well, in the first novel, Bird In The Tree, the protagonist, David, reflects on a passage of one of his favorite poems. In that musing he thinks about the concept of 'relinquishing.' He thinks about how much he likes the concept of relinquishing the things of life that we treasure as we age: our youth, health, good looks and other things. He envisions a god who takes these things that we relinquish and uses them as golden and silver building blocks to make a temple for us as we sacrifice them. A beautiful temple, which speaks of the justice of God who lets no thing we suffer over ever be wasted. He redeems every pain we experience and makes of it a beautiful thing that will benefit us throughout eternity.
Isn't God wonderful?
Well, so that is what inspired me to write words that were profitable to this dear soul and I think to all of us. So here is what I said:
As for the anticipatory feelings, I think that such experiences in life are really some of the crosses we must bear. Moses prayed in Psalm 90 that the Lord would teach us about the shortness of our lives that we gain a heart of wisdom.
As we age we must relinquish things we prize in life. Our health, beauty, loved ones, etc., they all pass on. But we have a God who takes these things as we relinquish them and uses them as building stones for our heavenly temple, creating gain, incredible, mind-boggling and beautiful gain for us amidst our losses.
Embrace the loss and the tarnish the anticipation puts on the "now" moments of your life, remembering that we have a just God who loves us and rewards us for all our losses.
So there you have it. Words of wisdom from a lonely man. Every loss and every experience of suffering is redeemed by our Lord who misses nothing and is the epitome of redemption. So let us rejoice in our losses and take comfort in our sufferings. We are the children of the Lord who loves us so thoroughly that we can never truly experience a complete loss. All is redeemed for all is covered by his incomprehensible love!